Let’s Talk about Sex

(This post was originally published on lilfytr.blogspot.com on February 8, 2017, under the title “‘The Birds and the Bees–Really?”. This re-post has been edited and updated from the original.)

“The world is not subtle; why should we be subliminal?” raps Christian rap artist, Shai Linne.[1] And he is right, which makes me ask, “If the world is going to blast their filth and spread it everywhere, why should we hesitate to call it what it is publicly? Why do we have to veil our messages in metaphors that take all the power out of them?”

It is for this reason that i decided to release a stand-alone song on February 8, 2017. It is now live again anywhere you get your music.

And before i share a link to where you can find the song, i would point out specifically why i originally wrote the song.  I wrote it in dreaded anticipation of a new movie that releases this weekend. I hesitate to even call it by name. But let me just say that i can guarantee you it is trash and not worth a second of your time. The whole second verse of my song is dedicated to dissing it. Fifty Shades Darker, the second movie in an erotic book series, comes out Friday. And for people who call themselves believers in Jesus, please STAY AWAY FROM THIS FILM. If we’re ever going to take the culture back for Jesus, we need to refuse to succumb to the culture in things like this.

With that said, the links will follow this paragraph. I need to warn parents of children that this song may bring up questions that you may or may not be comfortable answering yet. So with that said, maybe review it yourself first, before sharing it with the family. However, and i will expand in this post, i personally believe that the sooner we discuss sexuality with our children, the better off they will be. Here’s the YouTube audio edition (published February 8, 2017):

And if rap and you don’t quite get along, here’s a link to the lyrics:
http://lilfytr.blogspot.com/p/teach-me-some-respect.html

And here’s the Spotify edition (re-released April 26, 2019):

*          *          *

But now on to the topic at hand.

I’m not going to lie. The phrase, “the birds and the bees” makes no sense to me. Go ahead and say that birds lay eggs and bees fertilize flowers, but i still don’t connect it to the fact that when a man and a woman come together babies result. Birds and bees don’t mate with each other.

All that to say, “We need to be up front, and not subliminal.” Especially as believers, and especially on the topic of sex. We are the ones with the truth on the subject. We have zero reasons to hide it from our children.

God created sex perfect. He created male and female, and He created them naked. I don’t think i need any more proof to say that sex in and of itself is good. However, we all wear clothes now, and that is GOOD, because when Adam and Eve disobeyed God—listening to the snake—the first thing that suffered was sexuality. Shame entered in. Uncomfortable feelings entered in. They covered themselves to escape these feelings. After God spoke to them, He essentially agreed with their covering of themselves, because He graciously clothed them in skins of an animal.

And as the first verse of my song shows, the perversion of sex was all part of Satan’s plan. At the end of Genesis 4, we read, “Lamech took two wives[2] for himself, one named Adah and the other named Zillah” (4:19), and thus we have the first written example of people disregarding God’s monogamous intention.[3] And, ignoring a whole bunch of the book of Genesis—Genesis 19 comes to mind—we end up in Genesis 34, where we read,

Dinah, Leah’s daughter whom she bore to Jacob, went out to see some of the young women of the area.  When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, a prince of the region, saw her, he took her and raped her.  He became infatuated with Dinah, daughter of Jacob. He loved the young girl and spoke tenderly to her.  “Get me this girl as a wife,” he told his father Hamor.

Moses, Genesis 34:1-4 (emphasis added).

Thus we have the ultimate example of selfish sex. And, also, by the end of Genesis we see that Satan has thoroughly perverted sex for his own ends. It’s no wonder that sexual addiction is one of the strongest addictions out there.[4] An interesting statistic shows, “The National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity estimated that 6%-8% of Americans are sex addicts, which is 18 million – 24 million people.”[5] The same website defines sexual addiction as “compulsive sexual thoughts and acts alongside difficulties with intimacy. It can demonstrate itself as uncontrollable compulsions with pornography, masturbation, phone sex, cybersex, escorts, prostitutes, meaningless affairs, strip clubs, voyeurism, and exhibitionism to name a few.”[6] With this in mind, not everyone who participates in illicit sexual activity is an official addict. This problem is widespread, and it was all part of Satan’s plan.

But here’s the thing: Satan loses. God promised as much the day Adam and Eve found out they were naked. When Jesus died on the cross in the ultimate act of LOVE—giving us the definition of love—He allowed His heel to be bitten by the snake, but He rose three days later proving that He was going to renew everything. This includes sex!

For the believer, sex is new. It is not supposed to be about what i can get. It’s supposed to be about what i can give. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:4, “A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.” Interestingly, this was a counter cultural truth in Paul’s day. “Paul will have no truck with a view of marriage that leaves the sex act in the sole control of the male,” which was the exact opposite of the culture of that day.[7] For a very good discussion of this passage, check out this sermon.[8]

If we teach our children this from early days, i personally believe that it will spare them from finding answers elsewhere. We have to tell them that it is God’s gift, to be used in a certain context, and that if they wait until that context, it will spare them much sorrow. God wants us to be happy, and sex is one proof for this, but we have to use it rightly! When kids learn about sex from porn movies it corrupts their understanding of it, and it takes a VERY LONG time to rewire the brain.

But with all that said, maybe you read this whole post, but you’re not a believer in Jesus. In my song i say,

Don’t call it making love, cuz you just earning death
If the two of you aren’t bound by covenant yet

liL fytr, “Teach Me Some Respect”

And there’s a double meaning there. Actually, the more i think about it, there’s a ton of meanings there. But here’s the primary one: You have to be married to your sexual partner to have God smile on your sexual activity (cf. Song of Songs 5:1), but at the same time, you have to be bound in covenant with God to be earning anything but death. And my song explains it well. “Confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). If you do that, your sinful past of sexual activity will be wiped clean and instead of being described in 1 Corinthians 6:9, “Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality,” you will be described by 6:11, “And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” Please trust Him today! I don’t want to see you shut out of the kingdom of God—i don’t want to see you end up in hell.

And if you’re a believer who has gotten off track sexually, please come back! God is waiting with open arms to forgive you and receive you. The parable of the prodigal son explains:

So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him.  The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’  “But the father told his slaves, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast,  because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate.

Jesus Christ, Luke 15:20-24

The following lyrics are true regardless of which side of the cross you are currently on:

Trust Him today, say you’re done with your sin
If you truly do this I promise you that He’ll come in
He’ll shovel out your filth, He’ll make you brand new
It won’t be immediate change, but He’ll be living through you

liL fytr, “Teach Me Some Respect”

And i’ll be honest. The rap introduction to my song—after the spoken portion—is an example of how this process is not immediate. Even Satan wants to twist Scripture—like Genesis 2:18—so that we act selfishly. We cannot do this. Sex is to be selfless or we cannot call it love.

So let’s call things what they are. Sex outside of marriage (fornication) is sin. Prostitution is sin. Pornography is sin. Masturbation is sin. Bisexuality is sin. Homosexuality is sin. For all of these sins, the same Savior stands ready and waiting.

In this with you.

Soli Deo Gloria
Solus Christus
Sola Gratia

Thanks for reading.

[1] Shai Linne, “Taste and See,” The Attributes of God (Lampmode Recordings, 2011), MP3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ1a7rL4Fxo.
[2] In my song, i use the word “doe” occasionally for rhyming purposes, but it’s on the basis of Proverbs 5:18-19: “Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful fawn— let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever.”
[3] Monogamy as the intention can be proved because God only created one man and one woman. In fact there was no one for Adam and Eve to marry if they wanted to divorce the other.
[4] “Top 10 Addictions in 2014: Sex Makes The List,” https://www.addiction.com/4249/sex-among-top-10-addictions.
[5] Jacquelyn Ekern, “Sexual Addiction Causes, Statistics, Addiction Signs, Symptoms & Side Effects,” Addiction Hope, https://www.addictionhope.com/sexual-addiction/.
[6] Ibid.
[7] Leon Morris, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries – 1 Corinthians, (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Academic, 2008), WORDsearch CROSS e-book, 106.
[8] Pastor Steve Feinstein, Sovereign Way Christian Church, “The Cure for Sexual Immorality,” May 8, 2016, Audio here.

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