Sitting down to my morning coffee this morning, a headline–a trending headline–grabs my attention as I scroll through the news on my phone. “Disease Destroying Disease? One man’s quest to cure cancer.” It reads as follows:
Has one man found the cure to cancer?
Well, if you ask 35-year-old Curtis James, a medical doctor from Springfield, MO, he would say, “Not yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m not trying.” James lost his partner to cancer last summer. His partner is his motivation for seeking a cure to this Thanos of our reality, and even after his passing, James fights on, researching and learning, searching for a cure. In his words, “If Chris could be the last person to die of cancer, I could find peace and happiness in the fact that his death would not be in vain.”
James declined to state exactly where his progress stands at this point, though after mentioning that the CDC is involved in this process, we found out that there have as of yet been no clinical tests.
James did tell us that he hopes to destroy disease by altering the genetic makeup of another disease. To quote him, “Cancer is just the beginning. All diseases and maladies, bacteria or virus based, will be targeted by my cure. AIDS itself will be no more deadly than the common cold with this cure.”
Our hopes and prayers are with you, Doctor James.
For more info, or to find out how you can help, email Curtis James at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sure, it’s a nice little article, but I didn’t give the guy permission to share my email address with the world. I’ve already started getting too many emails.
Julie. She moved out a week ago. I hate her new guy–Gordon. He’s a racist, homophobic redneck. I honestly have no idea what she sees in him. They’ve been together since after Valentine’s Day. Apparently, at least from what she told me about him before the end of February, he is a respectful guy when it comes to women, and he’s only ever had one girlfriend, which was ten years ago in high school. He didn’t go to college, but instead got his own mechanic business started. His grandfather passed, leaving him a lot of money. Julie told me a week ago, before moving in with him, that she had to go. I didn’t want her to; I still don’t like Gordon, but if she’s happy then I’m happy. If he treats her right, then great. Who cares if he’d kill me if he could get away with it? But, how right do you really treat someone when they have to move in with you to get attention and love from you?
I got to go. But hey, Julie still works at Falstaff’s, so I’ll keep in touch with her there. Plus, she has my number if she needs it.
More headlines are coming out.
“Will Curtis James Save Us From COVID-19?”
“Can COVID-19 Be Stopped By Another Disease?”
“As Death Tolls Rise Nationwide, Might Salvation Be Found In A Lab In Springfield, MO?”
There’s so many more. But it’s all false hope at this point. I won’t even waste time reading them. They all link back to the article from this morning, but at the end of the day they totally ignored the whole thing about no clinical tests yet. We’re more than a year from being able to market my cure.
And COVID-19 is only one potential disease that will be cured. The focus is cancer and AIDS. COVID-19 will be a nice addition, but certainly not my focus.
People need to learn how to read more critically.